Stickbossman, I think you’ll find my chainsaw has an appointment

Look, I know there’s an anime fan in a top hat at the top of this tower. I know he’ll chuck ninja stars at me if I go up there and disturb him, but that’s why I’ve downed fifteen cups of coffee. I’ll just show him this chainsaw and these mail bombs, then we’ll get on famously. Oh, come on. I’m the reason this building has water coolers, you know. Fine, I’ll wait in the lobby.

Right, is anyone sitting here? Good. You here to see the giant purple mecha-execs that loom over the building too? Ah, you’re in for a treat. I’ve had the pleasure a few times now, after first opting to enter their corporate servitude the other day. They’d already lightninged me off the roof the first time, because I told them to stick their offer up their stick-bottoms. Let’s just say it was a persuasive recruitment tactic.

You can’t say I didn’t try to Stick It to the Stickman, but I suppose I have ended up working for him. It’s all the fault of that Microsoft paperclip-ass hand with a face, Thumby. The loveably annoying little shit keeps goading me into doing things that advance the capitalism here at finance tower, his stupid little voice wittering away about expanding the building with new features to make my roguelite runs from temp to boss easier.

Since this demo, ahem, sorry I mean life, really got its hooks into me, I’ve seen office brawls you people wouldn’t believe. Interns on fire because I’ve pointed at them and yelled that they’re fired while playing as The Delegator. I watched line managers’ bodies glitter with electrical energy after dragon kicking them in the IT department as The Jogger. I’ve teleported past chain-bound business brutes as the Task Dodger, only to whip around and pelt them with paper planes.

I’ve infiltrated floor-wide discos after injecting myself with coffee, and unleashed immensely satisfying chainsaw chaos. I’ve coated the walls and ceilings with glue from guns and fire extinguisher foam. Several times, the extra life that overtime gives me hasn’t been enough to overcome a man shooting me in the face. It’s been a little bit like Hades, but with less Ancient Greeks, and a lot more mysterious execs having a little dance when you sign their company up for the stock market. Instead of boons and blessings, I’m earning promotions that give me new moves or or upgrade my existing set. Started lobbing knives, now I’m unleashing hadoukens.

The room-by-room fights are hilarious tests of my ability to dish out punishment while keeping just enough in reserve for the tougher foes further on, and those tougher foes are tough enough to present a challenge that keeps me on my toes by punishing mistakes. Even an unsuccessful run usually dishes out enough cash to buy a building improvement that should help your next one, keeping the environment evolving so things don’t start to get stale. Not that there’s much time for things to get that stale in the two or three hours of entertainment the demo has to offer before you hit your head against its content limits.

It’s cool, though, because one thing you can unlock is the driving school. Here, Thumby helps you earn your licence by mowing down workers rights protestors in a car with some of the most laughably (and possibly purposefully) crap handling you’ll ever drive. There’s a car chase, because why not. Well, I say that, it’s nice practice for nicking cars and fleeing the police while you’re messing around in the small town you chill in between skyscraper runs. Forget GTA 6, I task you with losing a five star wanted level when the fuzz are shooting you with tasers while you wildly swing your fists at them like you’re a Brexit Barry who’s had a bit too much at the footy.

All of this is delivered with a sense of humour and panache for corporate parody that made me giggle on a regular basis. It’s way too early to say yet whether it’s a gimmick that’ll wear thin once you’re spending longer sessions with the early access version that debuts later this month – or the full version that’s set to arrive next year. But for now, Stick It to the Stickman at least has a solid foundation that makes for a merry evening or afternoon’s beating em’ up.