Why Sansa Stark Remembers a Kiss That Never Happened in Game of Thrones

George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones book series frequently relied upon unreliable narrators. Rather than presenting Westeros through a narrator who gives an objective account of what has happened, the books filter events through different characters’ perspectives. One of the many joys of the books is seeing how accounts of the same moment can vary dramatically from one character to another.

Sansa Stark is perhaps the most obvious example. From the very beginning of the story, the oldest Stark girl is obsessed with the traditional ideas of knights, maidens, chivalry, and romance that she has learned from songs and stories, in Stark contrast (pun intended) with her little sister Arya. However, as Sansa experiences the uglier reality of Westeros through her marriage to Joffrey Baratheon, she frequently interprets events through the fantasy world she has grown up believing in. This particularly affects her relationships with Joffrey, Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish, Tyrion Lannister, and most interestingly, Sandor Clegane.

Sansa & The Hound’s Relationship Was Always Complicated

Better known as the Hound, Sandor Clegane appears to be the antithesis of the dashing knights Sansa admires. He is brutal, cynical, and openly contemptuous of chivalry, while his horrific facial scars make him nothing like the handsome heroes of Sansa’s songs. Early in Game of Thrones, Sandor kills Mycah, the butcher’s boy who had been playing with Arya Stark before the confrontation with Joffrey.

Yet Sandor gradually becomes one of Sansa’s few protectors in King’s Landing. He objects to some of Joffrey’s cruelty toward her, repeatedly intervenes in crucial moments, and rescues her during the riot in King’s Landing. Sansa is consequently left with a deeply conflicting impression of him. She fears his violence and is disturbed by his behavior, but she also recognizes that the supposedly unchivalrous Hound has repeatedly behaved more like a knight than many of the men who carry the title. Their interactions are an uncomfortable mixture of tenderness and danger. Sandor calls her “little bird” and reveals many personal details about himself, including the truth about the burns on his body. But he is also an adult man capable of extraordinary violence, while Sansa is a young girl the Lannisters are holding hostage.

The fact that Sandor can make her feel safe in one moment doesn’t erase the fact he can terrify her in another. This conflict reaches its peak during the Battle of the Blackwater. Horrified by the wildfire and overwhelmed by the battle, Sandor abandons Joffrey and the Kingsguard. Before leaving King’s Landing, he goes to Sansa’s chambers and offers to take her home to Winterfell. He is drunk, frightened, and emotionally unstable, and the encounter quickly becomes threatening. He holds a knife to her throat and demands that she sing for him, which she does. But despite what she’ll later remember, Sandor never kisses her.

Sansa Remembers a Kiss That Never Happened

HBO

That becomes significant when Sansa thinks back to the encounter in A Storm of Swords. Remembering the night of the battle, she tells herself that the Hound “kissed me and threatened to kill me, and made me sing him a song.” By A Feast for Crows, the false memory has become even more vivid, with Sansa recalling “another kiss” and thinking about how the Hound’s “cruel mouth” pressed against hers. Readers already know this isn’t what happened.

Importantly, this isn’t a continuity mistake – Martin has explicitly confirmed that the discrepancy is intentional. When asked why Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her despite the earlier chapter containing no such kiss, Martin described Sansa as an “unreliable narrator” and confirmed Sansa remembers the encounter incorrectly. He also suggested the discrepancy would have later significance, but what Martin has not definitively explained is why Sansa’s memory changes.

Why Did Sansa Remember The Kiss?

One interpretation is that Sansa’s romantic imagination has gradually reshaped a terrifying encounter into something resembling the stories through which she has always understood the world. The nonexistent kiss, which fans have dubbed “The UnKiss,” fits the strange inversion of the traditional knight-and-maiden story that defines much of Sansa’s relationship with Sandor. Sansa’s mind seemingly pushes the moment closer to a recognizable romantic narrative: a frightening but protective figure comes to the maiden’s room and offers to rescue her before they part.

However, interpreting the UnKiss purely as romantic wish fulfillment overlooks the circumstances around it. Sansa has already endured a lot, and the Battle of the Blackwater is itself terrifying. Sandor enters her bedroom drunk and distressed before holding a knife to her throat. The UnKiss can therefore be read as Sansa unconsciously reconstructing an overwhelming memory after the fact, reshaping the narrative into something she can more easily understand. Neither Martin’s books nor the Game of Thrones show ever confirmed this, but that is what makes the UnKiss so effective.

Martin isn’t telling readers that Sansa lies; he is showing how her mind can reframe an experience until it fits the story she wants to believe. Her mind has rewritten this violent experience into a romantic, tender act, and cast the Hound as a much-needed protector. Sansa’s relationship with Littlefinger provides an interesting counterpoint. When Littlefinger kisses Sansa at the Eyrie, the kiss actually happens. Her false memory of Sandor is therefore not simply evidence that Sansa routinely invents romantic encounters. Instead, the UnKiss appears specifically connected to her complicated relationship with the Hound and the mixture of fear, violence, and intimacy that surrounds it.

The UnKiss could ultimately prove to be an early demonstration of Sansa’s unreliable perspective, or it could have a deeper significance for her relationship with Sandor and her eventual development, should The Winds of Winter ever be released. Either way, it is a perfect example of why Sansa’s chapters are so interesting. In Westeros, some people can’t even trust their memories, and sometimes, the most revealing part of a memory is not what actually happened, but what their mind added afterward.

First TV Show

Game Of Thrones

First Episode Air Date

April 17, 2011

Where to watch

HBO Max