Castlevania: Belmont’s Curse is one of the year’s best games, blending remarkable visual style, impactful combat, and balletic traversal. Also, as a bonus, everybody is really hot. It’s not excellent because everybody is hot, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. In that regard, it’s very reminiscent of Hades and its sequel, which figured out that if we’re going to frequently see character portraits for dialogue, they may as well be easy on the eyes.
Right off the bat you see Trevor Belmont and his daughter, Rose, disembarking in Paris. Trevor is a silver fox and Rose is a beautiful (if slightly terrifying) maiden. As you venture further into the castle, you find characters like the Zealot, Isaac–a goth prince if ever I saw one–and the Warrior, whose identity I won’t spoil but let’s just say will appeal to fans of tall, strong women. The Fallen, a corrupted beast of a man, isn’t too bad to look at for those players who came of age with Beauty and the Beast. Even Medusa has a certain kind of weird beauty, if you’re willing to look past the snakes. Do not look directly at the snakes.
The best example of all this may be Carmilla, the blood witch vampiress who wears a slinky little red dress. It looks fashionable until you realize it’s just thick rivulets of blood dripping off her body at all times. Gross! And yet. Hm.
And don’t even get me started on Dracula himself. When the lord of darkness finally appears, he makes the very attractive Trevor Belmont look like a schlubby dad by comparison. The character is often portrayed as a metaphor for temptation or lust and, having seen this depiction, look, I get it.
The overall ratio of hotties is somewhat diminished by monstrous boss characters. There are definitely some members of Rose’s tarot deck who aren’t attractive or, well, human. The Brittle King, for example, is a roughly human-shaped thing made out of shards of stained glass. I’m not going to presume to say that won’t appeal to anybody, but probably not most players, at least.
For the most part, though, the human and humanoid characters in Castlevania: Belmont’s Curse are remarkably, ridiculously good-looking, and that doesn’t seem accidental. It’s just one more way the game feels smooth and inviting in every aspect, and it’s bound to inspire countless pieces of fan art.
