I have so far not been shivved, shanked, brain fried, hazed, wasted, ironed, short-circed, flat-lined or even complained at in Probably Stolen – Cyberpunk Shopkeeper Sim, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.
In this neuromantic kiosk game from Questing Goose Studio, you’re a new store owner aboard a backwater space station. Each day, you roll up the shutter and do business with a procession of shady types, ranging from janitors with unappetising beards to sexy cowled folk with Main Character tattoos. The basics are simple enough, for all the overwhelmingly menu-led presentation: buy what you can afford, according to your instinct for the wider market, sell what you can fit into the customer’s budget. But things quickly get complicated.
You’ve got to watch out for wanted criminals, checking them against mugshots and possibly, reporting them to security. You’ve got to think about how your transactions shape the opinions of various factions, from revolutionaries through corpo bosses to the mob. You’ve got to run a magnifying glass over robot hands and cigarette packets, identifying vintage pieces and counterfeits. You’ve got to head out at night to scrounge stock from the dumps, preferably without getting shivved, shanked, etcetera. You’ve got to pay the electricity bill. You’ve got to shoot rogue androids in the CPU.
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I’ve only peeked timidly over the counter of Probably Stolen, which I would cautiously characterise as Papers, Please with a lot more wheeling and dealing, but it feels like there’s some decent substance here. I’m particularly intrigued by the idea of diversifying my operations beyond bog-standard checkout work.
“Start as a gunsmith, chemist, water merchant, fence, farmer, or from absolute rock bottom,” the Steam page growls. “Every product line has its own profit curve and its own way of ruining you, weapons bring inspections, chemicals bring addiction, water brings liability, contraband brings raids. Some trades need heavy machinery and permits, others just a good hiding spot and a straight face. The better the margins, the worse the consequences when something goes wrong. You’re not choosing a theme for your shop, you’re choosing which kind of trouble you’re willing to monetize.”
Oof! I’ll use that closing line next time I interview a producer about season passes. Maybe I’ll use it next time I have to pick a wallpaper pattern for my flat.
As cyberpunk fictions go, this does seem very comfortable. Your store has a cassette player with a selection of synthy music – I turned it off after 30 seconds, because the tunes were so gratingly generic. Dare I say it, cyberpunk is a “cosy” genre these days, but perhaps I just need to trade up to some classier earworms.
I also don’t think much of Probably Stolen’s writing, which seems clipped and flavourless, but it’s getting the job done, and besides, I’m very early on in my career as a skanky pawnshop operator. I haven’t even sold any toilet roll yet, and that feels like the real rite of passage. People who prefer their Netrunner 7-Elevens all 3D and hung with beautiful, beautiful birdcages might prefer the dives you get in No Law, which Julian saw recently.
