November is here. The sunny uplands are far behind us. The great gilded procession of Videogaming trundles and cavorts through the deep forest. The bells of the indie jesters are muffled by fog, and the CEOs peer anxiously from their carriages of scarlet and bronze, instructing their guardsmen to beware the union organisers concealed in the undergrowth. Keep watching the trees. Everytime you glance away, they look a little more like placards. Do you see the moths, idly winking on boughs? They are the Maw’s eyes. Those distant, whistling spirals of pine, somehow immobile behind the foreground trunks, in defiance of the rules of perspective? They are the Maw’s lungs. Those squirrels having shouting matches with magpies? Erm. The Maw’s thrombocytes, maybe.
Listen! The crunch of twigs and leaves under hobnailed boots. Approaching torches. It is a refugee party of freshly released PC games. Let us pick the heartiest or strangest from their ranks to bolster our forces, before the shadows close in for good.
Monday 3rd November
- Realms of Madness is a castlebuilder RTS that is played from side-on. I wouldn’t build castles in realms of madness, myself. Perhaps there was no land available for purchase in the Realms of Lucidity.
- Bigfoot Life (pictured) is an Abominable Snowman sim in which you gather mushrooms while trying not to be photographed by silly conspiracy theorists. Get out of here, Agent Mulder! Go on, git.
- Babbling Brook is a physics sandbox in which you try to transport some jovial quacking landfill to the sea.
Tuesday 4th November
- Football Manager 26 is about managing footballs. Another physics sandbox, I guess? There may be human football players involved but the title gives zero indication of this, so I am forced to assume there aren’t in the name of journalistic accountability.
- Europa Universalis V is another run-the-world simulator from Paradox in which, going by Brendy’s review, you will spend a lot of time watching your population evaporate because you forgot to unclick “Bubonic Plague” two centuries ago.
Wednesday 5th November
- Dead Static Drive sees you chugging across 80s North America in your cadillac or Dodge Charger, trying not to be eaten by Lovecritters.
- The Fable: Manga Build Roguelike is a turn-based street brawler in which you assemble manga pages to perform attacks.
Thursday 6th November
- Whiskerwood is about building island factory towns for the fat cats back at court, and possibly overthrowing them.
- No Players Online is a filled-out spiritual successor to the 2019 freeware game about being stuck in a haunted multiplayer server.
- Unbeatable is a rhythm-matching anime arcade game about a girl doing crimes in a city where music is forbidden.
- Egging On is about an egg that’s trying its best.
Friday 7th November
- My Father Lied is an adventure game about a young Iraqi woman searching an abandoned Mesopotamian museum for clues about her father’s disappearance.
- Thrasher is the new rhythm-bashing creature feature from some of the people behind Thumper. This time you’re a sizzling space eel, not a silver hellbeetle.
The newcomers we have chosen join our train with a few muffled words, clustering behind the triple-A bandwagons where the guard presence is thickest. Those we have turned away file past in silence, neither judging nor forgiving, and continue their journey down another path, one of the dozens of forgotten ways that stitch this midnight forest together.
Is there a PC game we have denied that really belongs on the list above? Speak up and without fear. After all, there is no telling for sure which path will lead us through to the warmth and safety of Yuletide. Perhaps they are all wrong. Perhaps all these roads will only carry us further into the Maw’s stinking guts.
