Command a massive walking gun in Iron Nest: Heavy Turret Simulator

Of steel is my spirit, of thunder my bones. I am the hawk’s justice, the quadrupedal crucible of oil and atrocity in which the future is forged. BEHOLD, ye strategy simulation enthusiasts. Behold my unabashed phallic symbolism menacing the gates of heaven, while my hissing hydraulics uncipher the coordinates of my prey.

Many are my supplicants, strangers from near and far who seek to beguile me and aim my blessed ordnance, but mine is the judgement, and mine the tactile gratifications of levers and gears and dials. You were getting bored of turrets in war games? Fools! You have never experienced one from the inside. Come, surrender yourself to the dieselpunk folds and surprisingly jaunty background music of my ironclad majesty. (Here’s a trailer.)

“A brutal dieselpunk heavy-artillery experience where you dominate the battlefield through a colossal war machine,” roars the Steam page for Iron Nest: Heavy Turret Simulator, like a minotaur with a marketing degree. “Every lever, every dial and every shot is under your control. High Command may send cryptic orders, but you alone pull the trigger. Obey or defy, in this nest you are the god of steel and fire. Beware, each blast tears the silence!” ARGH. I just saluted inadvertently and jammed a pencil in my ear.

There’s a slightly less bellowy characterisation of the game at the bottom of that Steam page. This is “a unique blend of tactical problem-solving, war machine management, and strategic customization” in which you “translate cryptic reports into coordinates, determine where to strike, and set the turret accordingly”. It features “a card-based requisition system that keeps every mission fresh”, and is apparently the work of just two developers with about 20 years of experience between them.

Iron Nest takes heavy inspiration from (deep breath) PVKK: Planetenverteidigungskanonenkommandant, which is kind of bizarre because PVKK isn’t even out yet. In a post about the experience of going moderately viral on Tiktok, the devs stress that Iron Nest and PVKK are quite different once you disregard the theme of honking massive manually operated cannons. It’s about “ground-based artillery, which brings a completely different setup, mechanics, and challenges compared to an orbital gun!”

Potato, potarto, I’m tempted to say, but I’m already imagining the whistle of vengeful shells. You can expect a demo in a few months, and the full release in mid-2026.