The top rated and multi-award-winning game I couldn’t seem to enjoy

Every once in a while comes a game that takes the internet by storm, getting rave reviews, having tons of hours of content created on YouTube and other platforms, and it becomes the main talking point on social media. Two years ago, that game was Baldur’s Gate 3. On paper, BG3 is virtually perfect for me:

• I am a longtime Dungeons and Dragons player and fan. Along with friends from back in the day, I used to play consistently every week, going through lots of short or long campaigns, and sometimes getting lost mid-session to “distractions,” like friends starting to play Halo PvP for whatever reason.
• I love spending hours customizing my characters in video games, be it during the character creation phase or afterward.
• I am always caught “rerolling” characters to try all the various classes and builds a game has to offer, to the point that most of my time playing games like World of Warcraft and Oblivion Remastered is spent creating characters, customizing them, and trying all their abilities until I find the ones that speak to me the most.

I loved playing DnD, and seeing how BG3 is a video game form of one of my favorite games ever, it seemed like a perfect fit. My friends and I had this beautifully crafted DnD campaign where we had to agree to play dwarf characters exclusively, as the setting was this long-lost dwarven kingdom that was in need of restoration. As I did most times back then, I rolled a rogue dwarf with a crossbow, and he was a bit naive and power-hungry. Very early on, the party encountered a demon prince who was threatening the kingdom, so I had my character sneak up to him to attack him, but he was aware of my presence and just left me gifts. The party was oblivious to what we said to each other, and they believed I was betraying them and their quest, so they found a way to have me either killed or arrested at all costs.

I escaped an ambush that culminated with an explosion and made it so that my character seemed dead, but I came back with a different name and appearance, thanks to a Hat of Disguise, and continued the campaign from there. At that point, my goal was to betray those who betrayed me, and I successfully did that during a session where everyone else was down to negative HP or dead. This was the last session of that campaign, but I still recall it fondly, and it’s something I expected to relive in BG3 in a way. However, I found out very early that romance was not only in the game, but it was also a rather big part of BG3. This led me astray from the game for a long time, and I couldn’t really enjoy it — until I finally truly gave the game a try.

Romance in Video Games Seems to be Great For Everyone But Me

I never liked romance options in video games. I am a huge fan of well-written, possibly emotional, setting-heavy RPGs, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that my vote for best RPG of 2025 is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Yet, I never really got into the Mass Effect series despite my passion for fantasy and sci-fi because romance was such a big deal in it.

I didn’t like it when the option of romancing certain characters was added to Skyrim. It pushed me away from games like Stardew Valley and Dragon Age. Romance in The Witcher 3 was quite awkward for me to sit through, and I just skipped it entirely in Cyberpunk 2077. There are more examples, but I guess these are some of the most notable, especially with how many people enjoyed romance in these games.

To be very honest with you, I don’t know why I dislike romance in video games so much, but it always makes me feel either uncomfortable or it simply doesn’t appeal to me at all. I am happy it’s there for those who like it, and I never wish for video games to go without romance if it means fewer people will enjoy them. However, I am in the seemingly strange minority that not only doesn’t want to engage with romance, but its mere presence actively repels one from playing. I guess I never had any desire to fantasize about myself or my character with any video game NPC.

Is Romance Required in Baldur’s Gate 3?

As such, I was very worried about the impact of romance in BG3, and since I’m naturally curious and a bit of a completionist in games, I thought I’d miss out on some things — fun, memorable, bad, unique, and so on. This was then confirmed by everything I’d read online, as everyone seemed to be raving about romance in BG3 and what it does, like the Halsin bear scene, how Astarion can be the best companion to romance in any video game ever, and even people speedrunning romance and seducing Lae’zel within 2 minutes of the Nautiloid crashing. It seemed the wrong game for me, despite my love for and long history with Dungeons and Dragons.

How Baldur’s Gate 3’s Withers Almost Made Me Quit The Game

There can be a certain fear of judgment for not conforming to peer pressure or expectations, even if it’s subconscious, and even when it comes to how you play video games. I remember how I was on the fence about finally going for a full playthrough of Baldur’s Gate 3, and then I stumbled upon a video of Withers sort of shaming your Tav for not having a partner and not romancing anyone. He hits you with a line saying, “Thou walkest alone. On all these harsh nights, thou hast sought no company,” to which the dialogue options in response are:

• I don’t want a partner.
• You sound disapproving.
• My love life is none of your business, skeleton.

He then replies: “Love is no domain of mine. But it is often cited as the purpose of mortal life. Wherefore turnst thou from it?”, and then the player can choose from four options. These are:

• No one piqued my interest.
• My fellow travellers don’t seem to like me enough…
• I have better things to be doing.
• I really don’t want to talk to you about this.

His reply is then, “And thus thou art alone.” The problem here for me is twofold. I really feel like this does indeed judge me and my character for my choices, and on top of that, none of the options in the second bit of dialogue is one I would have chosen. If I had to choose, I would go with “You sound disapproving” first, and then “I really don’t want to talk to you about this,” but none of the options after the first sound good to me in this scenario. In life, I am not aromantic, but in video games, I 100% am, and I feel like these options don’t reflect that. Plus, are you really alone if you don’t romance BG3‘s companions? In a way, you’re not alone even when you stand against the Netherbrain with no other characters, as Withers himself is there.

But this interaction single-handedly made me put the game on the back burner for a while. I later found out that this also happens if you indeed have romance in the game, just with different words and dialogue options, and I know now that Baldur’s Gate 3‘s Withers is about balance, so one extreme or the other makes little difference to him.

Baldur’s Gate 3’s Romance is a Storytelling Tool, Not a Mandatory Feature

Sometime later, I tried looking for “Baldur’s Gate 3 no romance” on YouTube and online in general, and I was surprised at how few results there were overall. With a cast of characters that are “player-romantic”, meaning that they will always be attracted to the player character regardless of race, gender, appearance, class, and similar details, it does make sense that romance is perceived as such a big deal. Props to you for enjoying it, but also if you don’t. If anything, being certain races, genders, or classes can unlock other dialogue options in BG3, meaning there is a lot of value to creating multiple characters and replaying the story with them, romancing different companions, and choosing different lines.

What I read online made it seem like you have to romance someone in BG3 for it to be a good experience, or at least, to be part of something and truly get the most out of the game. However, that is not the case. BG3 is not romance-heavy in the sense that playing the game without romance makes it immediately worse or not enough. It’s just one of the many facets of the game, and there are many others that I like much more, like:

• Choices and how they matter (for example, what to do with BG3‘s owlbear egg, and how it explores a grey area of morality, in my opinion)
• Builds (I always look up interesting rogue builds in BG3 because it’s my most played class in DnD by a huge margin, though the variety of subclasses and items in the game is so big that it makes the experience of rerolling a true pleasure)
• Character growth (defending and standing up to Astarion in Moonrise Towers, for example, and then seeing him standing up to you if you say you don’t want Araj Oblodra to get your blood samples)
• Stories and interactions (for example, how Gale’s cat companion, Tara, doesn’t recognize him and disapproves of him when he chooses his ambition of becoming a god over everything else, showing that animals do sense changes in you and react to them)
• Settings (one of the most beautiful locations in BG3 is Wyrm’s Crossing, I think, as it’s a staggering example of human ingenuity against a backdrop that represents nature’s beauty and resilience)

I didn’t end up doing endless playthroughs like other players. I didn’t romance anyone in my playthroughs, and only saw videos of the romanced companions. Did this diminish my enjoyment of the game? Not one bit. If anything, it felt empowering because I did what I really wanted, unbounded from expectations and peer pressure, and it felt good — liberating, even. And I do see the value of romancing all the companions in BG3, even beyond the act of romance itself, as it’s a powerful storytelling tool.

I wish it appealed to me to experience first-hand all those neat dialogues and character arcs I didn’t, but ultimately, I also firmly believe that a game should be played as one enjoys it the most. If that means going against the grain, so be it. After all, I already do that in my private life, and I always stand up for myself when it comes to it. It’s only healthy to do it for video games, too, and I’m glad I didn’t let expectations ruin my playthroughs in Baldur’s Gate 3.

Released

August 3, 2023

ESRB

M for Mature: Blood and Gore, Partial Nudity, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Violence