“When our fathers stood against the Persians,” spake Greek statesman and general Pericles, “they had no such resources as we have now”. Time, of course, muddies the clear waters of specifics, but I’m basically sure he was talking about the ability for each of his men to keep a thirty foot ladder snuggled safely away in their rectal passage just in case they encountered any massive walls.
Which is probably where Total War got the idea from. Since launch, The Total War: Warhammer series has given each troop, from the lowliest Chaos Chosen to the bravest and most beautiful ratman, the ability to magic a ladder from nowhere during sieges. There’s a mod for Total War: Warhammer 3 that removes them, but now the end of arse ladders is getting official support, including tweaks to hopefully teach the AI how to behave without them.
Joining the ladder changes is a rebalance to siege equipment, and the first of many planned settlement layout reworks. All this comes courtesy of a new Proving Grounds beta, as detailed by battle team lead Milcho Vasilev in a new blog. Proving grounds means the changes will only exist in a separate beta branch for a bit, and likely won’t go live until players have had a chance to test them and give feedback for iteration.
A bit more detail on the arse ladders. The bung rungs, if you will. The scaffolds that chaff-old. First up, you will be able to toggle your intestinal escalades back on if you wish. No judgement. Something’s up there that long, starts to feel like a part of you. Secondly, CA say they’ve “fixed over 50 issues related to how the Battle AI plays” in sieges in general, so they might now have some devious new ideas of how to cope without the ladders.
Elsewhere, towers are getting their range reduced but their damage buffed, and gates will be more durable. You’ll be able to build siege towers and battering rams quicker, and their speed and durability has been adjusted. “In addition,” reads the blog, “we are changing the way Siege Attrition works and turning it into a linear progression making it be stronger and stronger with each consecutive turn a settlement remains under siege”.
Do have a read of the blog for the full breakdown. This beta round runs for two weeks, from the 24th of July to the 7th of August. There’ll also be a livestream with Vasilev on Twitch today at 3:30PM BST/2:20PM UTC/4:30PM CEST. I don’t think they’ve done a dev stream for a while, and I’m a sucker for the nitty gritty stuff they’ve been sharing more of recently. Rest in pelvic prolapse, arse ladders.
