Resident Evil: Leon's One-Liners Vs. Every Major Boss in Elden Ring

There are a lot of reasons to love Resident Evil. From the brilliantly paced horror to the highly detailed environments, the franchise has justifiably earned its place in the hearts of horror gamers. It has also earned its way there thanks to its humor. Its humor is necessary; breaking down the tense bits with a moment or a delivery that encourages players to let out the breath they’ve been holding. Leon S. Kennedy’s infamous one-liners are a perfect example of this tension-reducing magic. Few protagonists are as committed to saying the absolutely wrong thing at the perfect moment as beloved Leon. Whether he’s facing down cult leaders, monsters, or world-ending threats, he will somehow always find the time to drop an absolutely awful one-liner that ranges from charming to completely unhinged.

I often find myself thinking that other games deserve the dad-joke/one-liner treatment, too. Not because I want to dilute the very purposeful tone carefully curated in a writer’s room, but because… well, why not? So, imagine dropping Leon’s same energy from Resident Evil into Elden Ring. Elden Ring is a game defined by tragedy, ruin, and some of the most intimidating and unforgiving bosses in modern gaming. The Lands Between are not built for quips, and their demigods do not banter. But Leon would not care.

Resident Evil Requiem Review: A Horror Gaming Masterpiece

By expertly blending pure horror and over-the-top action, Resident Evil Requiem becomes the ultimate Resident Evil experience.

Margit, the Fell Omen

As the first boss in Elden Ring, Margit sets the tone for the game’s brutality with delayed attacks and relentless pressure. Margit would waste no time testing Leon, slamming spectral weapons into the ground, trying to make a point. Leon, meanwhile, is already circling, reading the wind-ups like it’s just another boss with tells to memorize.

Big talk for a guy camping on a bridge.

Malenia, Blade of Miquella

Malenia is one of the most infamous bosses in modern gaming, known for her speed, lifesteal, and relentless pressure. Leon would immediately clock Malenia’s stance and know it’s going to hurt. Nevertheless, he persists. He must commit to the bit.

Godrick the Grafted

Godrick is a power-hungry ruler who stitches limbs onto himself in a desperate attempt to become something greater. His whole deal is grotesque excess with limbs stitched together in a desperate grab for power. Leon would clock this immediately, the same way he would any backwoods monstrosity with too many moving parts.

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon

This boss is a haunting, two-phase battle that shifts from eerie classroom chaos to full-blown cosmic sorcery. The first phase of Rennala’s fight is pure chaos, with shifting students, flying furniture, and a glowing weak point that Leon has already decided to shoot at. By the time Rennala starts casting moon magic, he’s less concerned with the lore and more with not getting flattened.

Lady, could you get your kids to stop throwing books at me?

Starscourge Radahn

This legendary general holds back the stars themselves—while riding a horse that absolutely should not be carrying him. Leon would take one look at Radahn and just need to pause.

How about we give the horse a break?

Morgott, the Omen King

Margit returns, angrier, stronger, and even less interested in letting Leon get away with anything. Leon, on the other hand, would likely treat it as a rematch he didn’t sign up for.

Didn’t we already settle this?

Resident Evil: Every Game Leon Kennedy Appears In

Leon S. Kennedy isn’t only known for his roundhouse kicks. He’s a staple of Resident Evil and features in many games from the franchise.

Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy

The Lord of Blasphemy in Elden Ring is a massive serpent god who invites you to “join the family” in a tone that suggests you absolutely should not. Leon would listen just long enough to understand the offer. He’s at least very polite about it.

I’ll pass on joining the family.

Fire Giant

He’s a towering, tragic guardian whose size alone makes the fight feel overwhelming. Leon would spend most of this fight craning his neck and trying not to get flattened by something the size of a building. The weak point would eventually become obvious. Only then would he make his comment.

Talk about having two left feet.

Maliketh, the Black Blade

One of the fastest and most punishing bosses in Elden Ring, this boss is capable of ending fights in seconds. The bit would almost have to stop here. Maliketh is fast and aggressive, and would refuse Leon the breathing room he’s used to. This one would result in less talking and more surviving, so Leon’s one-liner would be reserved for the player to grunt and roll their eyes at him afterward.

This one was actually a problem…

Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing

Imagine a man who claims to understand everything and still decides to challenge Leon anyway. Leon has heard this tone before, even from his earliest days in Resident Evil 2 and Resident Evil 4. It doesn’t usually end well for the person using it.

You should’ve known how this ended, buddy.

Godfrey, First Elden Lord / Hoarah Loux

Godfrey is a regal warrior who eventually decides that titles are overrated and opts to just start throwing hands. He starts controlled. Until suddenly it’s just fists, grapples, and raw violence. Leon would adjust accordingly.

Radagon of the Golden Order

Radagon doesn’t waste words. Neither does Leon, especially when a large glowing hammer the size of a truck is coming down on him.

Nice hammer. Did your mom pick it out for you?

Elden Beast

This cosmic entity feels less like a boss and more like a fever dream. At this point, Leon’s seen enough. The scale, the setting, the fact that he’s fighting something that looks like a living and moving constellation… he needs a drink.

… this is above my pay grade.