Continuing last week’s Maw merchandising roll-out, may I introduce by popular demand the first official Maw-endorsed letter opener. Now now, don’t act coy! I know some of you are old enough to know what a letter opener is, or even to own one. Statistically, most of the RPS readership are Lich Lords. The Maw letter opener differs from regular letter openers in that when you open a letter with it, you will encounter not a letter but a perfect copy of yourself opening a letter in the opposite direction. The two of you must now fight to the death to decide who is the letter-opener and who is the letter. It’s yours for a piffling three pints of any available body fluid, but if you don’t want to buy a letter opener you can always buy one of this week’s new PC games instead.
On Monday 27th January, a properly asymmetrical pairing: the 4K puncheroos of Virtua Fighter 5 R.E.V.O. versus the wanton bulkhead husbandry of Space Engineers 2. On Tuesday 28th January, there’s occult monastery escape sim The Stone Of Madness (pictured), cuddly critter murderer Tales Of Iron 2: Whiskers Of Winter, and the acrobatic wizardry of Eternal Strands. On Wednesday 29th January, we’ve got manky twilight zone shop sim Kiosk, “the first rogue builder” Cryptical Path, and one of the few, if not the first, JRPG worldmap builders, KAMiBAKO: Mythology of Cube. Oh, and Slavic village mystery The End Of The Sun, which reminds me of Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture. On Thursday 30th January, there’s the PC release of Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 together with Sniper Elite: Resistance, Rebellion’s latest WW2 headshotter, but perhaps you’d rather play Cloverfield cameraman in co-op horror frolic Headliners, or grow an underground cult in Whispers Of The Eyeless. On Friday 31st January, there is nothing at all because you will need that time to play all the games I’ve just mentioned. This is called “building tolerance into the schedule”.
Assuming you haven’t been slain by some letter-opening doppelganger, you may read this list and feel the delicate vertigo of disappointment. Fine, do your own round-up. I’m not Santa Claus and it’s the wrong time of year for that guy anyway. Look out for our latest live newsblog below and have a joyous week, whether it involves video games or letter openers or simply a nice walk in the park. Walks are underrated! You can do that on Friday if you like.
WINDY MONDAY
It’s absolutely howling through the treetops round these parts. What’s the weather like there? FEED THE MAW.
