A grim and insanitary management game about absolutely abysmal cars? One for you, Brendy! Oh sod it, he’s not here anymore. That’s what we get for letting him learn how to drive – and letting him have a cell with a window. I don’t know how to drive, and I have played neither Jalopy nor My Summer Car, but I do know how to be a dishonest piece of shit, so I am at least 25% of the way towards writing an informed appraisal of Totally Legit Wheeler Seller.
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Created by Polish developers Sombrero Labs, it’s about making old, broken, patently unsafe cars look like new-ish, sellable ones by means of myriad methods. You can, for example, cut cars in half and solder the least rusty bits together, or paint tyres to look fresher, or photoshop some sparkle into your carefully angled phone pictures, or use an electric screwdriver to wind back the miles-counting… thingy. The best part from my perspective is that prior knowledge of actual car functioning appears inessential, to the point of being frowned upon. After all, the more you know about cars, the more you will understand why you shouldn’t let anybody drive these cars.
If you do drive, I imagine you might enjoy this because it kindles memories of cars you shouldn’t have bought as a foolish youth. Cars with suspiciously placed floor mats, and a raccoon nesting under the hood which the seller persuaded you was merely an atypically rabid and flea-ridden intake manifold. He probably charged you an extra £50 for that raccoon. Read more about Totally Legit Wheeler Seller on Steam.
